Where I Started

So embarrassing to look at these pictures. I feel it's important to share to see where I started.

The last thing I needed to be wearing was a tank top and shorts. I can't believe I was out in public like this.

With all the issues I've been having with my knee lately I can't help but remember where I started from. My biggest fear is that I will not be able to run and that I will become the person I was before. Looking back I feel embarrassed and sad about how I looked. Between birth control, having my girls, and eating it destroyed by 20's. At the moment I was living it I wasn't aware of all that I was missing. What I would give to have my 20's back to fully appreciate my health and try harder to live to the fullest and be happy and healthy. These pictures are painful reminders of where I never want to be again and more motivation to stay healthy and running if at all possible.

At my knee appointment on Tuesday the doctor had me go through a few different physical tests. Since there was no swelling and she didn't cause me any pain she pretty much dismissed my issues and was ready to send me on my way. I almost felt panicked. I kept trying to explain that since January my pain and symptoms were getting worse. She wanted me to just go home and come back if they got worse. After telling her over and over she finally sent me back for x-rays. They took two views. They told me someone would call to go over them with me but that still hasn't happened. The only positive was that the doctor did call in a referral to the orthopedic clinic. She said it would be 3-4 weeks before I could get in. At that point I was just happy that I got the referral. Friday afternoon I got a call that my orthopedic appointment would be this Friday, March 12th. I never thought I would be happy to go to the doctor but I can hardly wait. I'll be keeping you posted.

On a happier note I am very proud of what I have accomplished. Between life's challenges I have fluctuated up and down a little on my weight since reaching my goal in April of 2006. At that point I had lost over 80 pounds. I am usually the crazy lady with the camera so finding a picture of me at my highest weight has been hard. Most people look at me know and roll their eyes or just act like I'm a nut for complaining about my weight now. I'm tall so I distribute it better. It's not about a number for me. I just want to be healthy and feel comfortable with myself. I would love to lose 10-15 pounds to get me back into that comfortable zone. I know that my running would improve. I can tell when I'm carrying extra weight with me as the miles add up.

Here are a few after photos to show the difference. I'm going to continue to work at my goals. I still believe 2010 will be a great running year for me. I just have to get through this knee thing. I'm thinking it will only make me appreciate it even more.

May 2006

Portland Marathon 2006

Portland Marathon 2008