Where Have I Been?

Tressa & I

Many of you know that life has been a bit crazy for me the past year.  I have tried my best to stay healthy and keep on top of things.  I feel like I've failed miserably.  I'm determined to regain a focus for my life.  I want to accomplish so many things.  I feel like life is changing so fast.  I don't want to miss out on anything else.  I know that regret is one of the worst things to live with.

Here's a quick recap of the past month.

1.  Participated with some friends, new & old (Tressa & Jesse), in the Spokane to Sandpoint Relay. Pics on Facebook HERE. I will do a race report for this.  Just know that it was awesome and I'm really looking forward to another relay.  So much fun.

Mustache & Tattoo Relay Leg

2.  Got the call around 3AM after running my second leg of the relay that my Grandma had passed away.  So thankful that my Dad & Stepmom made it there so she wasn't alone.  I will forever feel guilty and regret over the fact that I wasn't there to say goodbye and be there with my family.  Obviously, I wasn't meant to be there for some reason.  Still working through that.

3.  Little M started soccer.  Since Big M chose to take a year off she has, by default, become my running buddy during soccer practice :)  I have lots of things to look forward to with her.

4.  School started.  Nuff said.

5.  I have become a new Mom.  Within a 24 hour period I went from a 1 dog home to 3.  Yes, we are nuts.  One was a rescue type adoption and the other is a new miniature dachshund puppy friend for Roxy.  Pics and post coming soon :)

As my life is getting back into a schedule with school and a future without my sweet Grandma, I'm trying to focus on fun things coming up.  Most people don't realize how much I deal with depression.  The last few weeks have been overwhelming and have brought up lots of negative feelings and sadness.  I feel like I'm very alone with dealing with most of this.  I'm tired of getting sucked down so I'm going to try my best to move forward and accomplish a few things.  Running has always been a huge help.  Here are things I'm determined to do to make myself feel better not only physically, but mentally as well.

1.  Lose weight.  I've done it before and I will do it again.  Such a frustrating thing.  Stress doesn't do great things to my body.  I can't continue to feel trapped within this body.  I know I will never be a "fast" runner but I know I'm capable of so much more and each pound holds me back.  Enough is enough.

2.  Do more things as a family.  Whether it be a game night, hike, or a run, I think we should do way more quality things together.  Life is too short.  Love your friends and family.  Let them know that you love them.

3.  Ramp up my workouts.  That's right, I plan on finding new and fun ways to torture myself.  I'm hoping it helps with #1.

4.  Run & blog more.  I know I've said it in the past but I mean it this time.  My blog and the friends I've gained from it are priceless.  I know this will help keep me focused.

Lots more coming.  Thanks to all of you who have hung in there with me.